


A Tiny Book of Tiny Stories

by boringdrouin



Category: Animal Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Canon Compliant, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Growing Up Together, M/M, Smut, Teenagers, kids in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-29
Updated: 2019-12-12
Packaged: 2020-09-28 23:57:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20434640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boringdrouin/pseuds/boringdrouin
Summary: “If I read our story backwards, it's about how I un-broke your heart, and then we were happy until one day, you forgot about me forever.” — Joseph Gordon-LevittOr, Deran and Adrian’s relationship through the years.





	1. Ages 4-6

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is finished, but I’m going to post a new chapter every few days. Sorry for any mistakes, I did my best to edit it.

Deran and Adrian are four years old when they first meet. His mom takes Deran to the park down the road for the afternoon. While he is sitting on the swing set, a little boy with dirty blond hair and big blue eyes runs up to him. Deran has never seen him before. 

“Hi! My name is Adrian Dolan and I like sharks!” 

Deran stares at the other kid. He doesn’t have many friends, and he’s not sure what to say.

“My name’s Deran,” he mumbles shyly. Adrian smiles widely.

“Do you want to play house with me?” 

Deran shrugs. “Okay.” 

Adrian makes a little happy noise and grabs Deran’s hand, drawing him away from the swings. He leads them to the sandbox. 

“I’ll be the mommy and you be the daddy,” Adrian says, plopping down in the sand. He picks up a red bucket and fills it. 

“What are you doing?” Deran asks curiously. 

“I’m making dinner.”

They play in the sandbox for an hour until Adrian’s mom tells him it’s time to go. His face crumples like he’s going to cry.

“But I don’t want to go!”

Adrian’s mom smiles sweetly. “Are you having fun with Deran?”

Adrian nods his little head confidently. “We’re married.” 

“I gave Deran’s mom our phone number so you two can have a playdate soon. Would you like that?” 

Adrian jumps to his feet. “YES!” 

“Okay,” she chuckles. “Say goodbye for now.” 

Deran stands up and brushes off his shorts. 

“Bye, Deran,” Adrian says, holding his arms out. Deran moves closer and hugs him. 

“Bye.” 

After they hug, Adrian kisses him on the cheek. “Mommy says to always kiss people goodbye.”

He takes his mom’s hand and follows her out of the park. Deran watches him leave and feels sad. He really enjoyed playing with Adrian.

*** 

They’re six when they promise to be friends forever.

“D-Deran,” Adrian sobs. “I fell off the skateboard and scraped m-m-my knee.”

Deran was busy trying to set some ants on fire with a magnifying glass, but he turns to see his friend sitting on the ground. Adrian’s tiny knees are bloody and his big blue eyes are full of tears.

“Are you okay?” Deran gasps, running over to kneel beside him. Adrian shakes his head rapidly.

“Please don’t tell my mommy!” He cries. “She told me not to go on your skateboard!” 

Deran grabs Adrian’s hands and pulls him to his feet. 

“Please don’t cry,” Deran begs, hugging him tightly. Adrian hides his face in Deran’s shoulder.

“It hurts,” he whimpers. Deran grabs Adrian’s hand and walks him up the driveway.

“I can fix it!” 

He takes Adrian to the bathroom, puts the toilet lid down and makes him sit on top. 

“They aren’t that bad,” Deran says, examining Adrian’s knees. They have small scratches, but there’s a lot of blood. Deran picks up a hand towel and gently wipes it away. 

“Does it still hurt?” 

“Yes,” Adrian says, voice wobbly. He stopped crying, which is good. Deran hates it when Adrian cries. He finds some bandaids with fire trucks on them under the sink. 

“Fire trucks?” Adrian notices. He smiles, and it looks weird with his red nose and eyes. 

“Fire trucks,” Deran confirms, careful as he covers Adrian’s cuts with the bandages. 

“Better?” 

Adrian nods. Deran smiles and leans down, kissing Adrian’s right knee. His mom always kisses his booboos and makes them feel better, and Deran knows Adrian loves kisses. 

“Thank you,” Adrian says weakly. He still looks sad so Deran leans up and kisses his cheek, how Adrian always does when they say goodbye. 

“You’re welcome.”

“You’re the bestest friend ever.”

Deran smiles. “No,  _ you’re  _ the bestest friend ever.” 

“Promise to be my buddy forever?” Adrian holds out his little finger. Deran hooks their pinkies together. 

“I pinky promise.”  
  



	2. Ages 10-14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babies in love <3

Deran stops referring to his mother as “Mommy” and starts calling her “Smurf” when he’s ten years old. Craig told him to stop being such a baby. 

“Smurf says you can come for dinner when we’re done.” 

Adrian sits down in the shallow water and digs his fingers into the sand. It’s summer, and as usual they’re spending the day at the beach. 

“It’s weird that you call your mom Smurf. But sure.”

Deran shrugs. “Everyone does.” 

They splash around in the water for a bit until Pope gets bored of watching them. 

“Hey, losers! Let’s go!”

Deran sticks his tongue out at his brother but follows Adrian out of the water. They change quickly in the beach bathrooms before climbing into Pope’s car. When they get home, dinner is set on the table outside and Smurf is pacing around angrily. She spots Adrian and shakes her head.

“He has to go. Deran, walk him home and then come straight back.” 

“But you said he could stay for dinner!” Deran protests. He wants to show Adrian the new video game he got after they eat.

“I don’t care what I said. Walk him home. NOW, Deran.” 

Smurf’s mad, and Deran knows not to argue with her when she’s like this. 

“Fine,” he huffs. He grabs Adrian’s hand and tugs him out of the backyard. 

“Sorry.”

Adrian shrugs and squeezes Deran’s hand. “It’s okay. I’ll come over tomorrow.”

Deran doesn’t like hand-holding, but Adrian likes it, so he does it anyway. Adrian can be too cuddly sometimes, but he puts up with it since Adrian is his best friend. 

“I don’t know if I’m allowed to play tomorrow. Smurf seems mad about something.” 

Usually this happens when one of Deran’s brothers lie to her, or if they mess up the missions she sends them on. She says Deran is too young for the missions, but he wants to go on them with Craig soon. 

“Oh,” Adrian says. He sounds sad and Deran hates it. 

“But maybe the day after that.” 

They talk about surfing and comic books for the rest of the walk, only stopping when they get to Adrian’s porch. 

“Bye,” he says, leaning in to kiss Deran’s cheek. Deran doesn’t realize and turns to hug him. His lips brush the corner of Deran’s mouth. 

“Oops,” Adrian giggles. Deran feels his stomach swoop and his face heat up.

“It’s okay, I’ve seen other friends kiss before,” He blurts. “Craig and Renn do it all the time.” 

“Really?”

Deran nods. “Yeah, they’re always kissing in Craig’s room.”

“Oh,” Adrian says. He nods. “Okay, then.” 

He moves closer to Deran and pecks him on the lips. “Goodnight.” 

There are butterflies in Deran’s stomach as he runs home, hoping to get there before Smurf is more upset. 

***

Adrian’s skin is warm where it’s pressed against Deran. He’s pink from being in the sun and he’s always extra cuddly after a tiring day of surfing. 

“Aren’t we too old to do this?” Deran grimaces, gently pushing Adrian off. Adrian makes an irritated noise and rests his head against Deran’s chest again. He’s stubborn when it comes to cuddling. 

“No,” he mumbles. “We’re only fourteen.”

Deran disagrees, but he gives in and wraps his arm around Adrian’s waist.

“I don’t see other friends our age doing this,” Deran points out. Most of the ninth graders he knows like to skateboard and look at nude magazines. Not nap with their best friends. 

“We aren’t like other friends, are we?” Adrian snaps. Deran keeps quiet. He knows they’re not like other friends because no one else gives him butterflies like Adrian does. No one else has eyes as pretty as Adrian and no one’s hugs feel as nice. 

Adrian presses a firm kiss to Deran’s jaw. “Now be quiet and let me nap, asshole.”

Deran doesn’t fall asleep. He stays awake with Adrian in his arms as the boy’s breathing evens out.    
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is appreciated :) 
> 
> Tumblr @adriancody


	3. Age 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All Deran ever does is make Adrian sad.

Deran breaks Adrian’s heart for the first time when they’re fifteen. Smurf throws a party, so Deran asks Adrian to come. It wouldn’t be any fun without his best friend. 

The music is blasting and Adrian just finished his second beer.

“Dance with me,” he giggles, grabbing Deran’s hands and shimmying ridiculously. As usual, Deran gives in to Adrian’s antics and copies his dancing. It isn’t until he sees Smurf watching that he jerks away, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“I don’t want to.” 

Adrian pouts. “Please?” 

Deran takes a step back. “No, that’s stupid.” 

Smurf always says he’s too young for any of the jobs his brothers go on. He doesn’t want to prove her right by acting childish with Adrian. 

“It’s just dancing,” Adrian protests. He points at some of Craig’s friends. 

“See, they’re doing it.” 

Deran turns and sees Renn dancing with a random guy. Craig’s glaring at them a few feet away. 

“Yeah, but they’re not two boys. We look gay.” 

Adrian stills. His bottom lip wobbles and his voice comes out weak. “Is… is that a bad thing?” 

Deran stares at him. Of course it’s a bad thing. Craig, Pope and Baz always have pretty girlfriends. Deran is supposed to be like them.

“I’m not a fucking queer.” 

The hurt look on Adrian’s face makes him wish he could take it back. He doesn’t. 

“Right,” Adrian mumbles. He looks down and frowns, before turning towards the house. 

“I think Jack from school said he would come. I’m going to look for him.” 

Deran watches Adrian walk away with a sour feeling in his mouth. Lately all he does is upset Adrian. He sits on a lawn chair and grabs the beer he was drinking before they started dancing. He downs the rest of it and sits there with a glare on his face for ten minutes. Eventually, Smurf makes her way over. 

“Fighting with Adrian, baby?” 

He grabs the beer she’s holding out for him and pouts. “No. He’s just being an idiot.” He takes a long drink from the bottle. She sits beside him. 

“Does he still kiss you every time he says goodbye?” 

Deran’s cheeks flame in embarrassment. He didn’t realize she knows about that. 

“You should make him stop. You’re too old for that now.” 

“I know,” Deran grumbles. “But he gets upset if I tell him not to.” 

Smurf shrugs and stands up. “Adrian’s a big boy. So are you. It’s up to you, baby, but maybe you should start acting like it.” 

Deran scowls after her and chugs the rest of his drink. He’s starting to feel the buzz, but it does nothing to soothe his frustration. It gets worse when he sees Adrian emerge from the house, hand in hand with Jack. He’s laughing about something, and the way he reaches out and gently touches Jack’s shoulder makes Deran see red. That’s Deran’s best friend. No one else’s. He’s up on his feet and walking towards them before he can stop himself. 

“Hey, man,” Jack says when he notices Deran’s approach. “Cool party.” 

Deran narrows his eyes at him. 

“Jack just got his license!” Adrian exclaims. “He will drive me home.” 

Deran’s chest flames with jealousy. He’s not sixteen yet, and he hates that he can’t be the one to drive Adrian. 

“You’re leaving?” 

“Jack has this cool shelf stereo so we’re going to dance at his house!” 

Deran stares at him. “What?” 

Adrian shrugs. “You don’t mind if we leave, right? You don’t want to dance, anyway.” 

The utter jealousy Deran feels is too much and he can’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t make Adrian cry. When he doesn’t reply, Adrian looks at him warily. 

“Okay, well, goodnight.” He leans in to peck Deran on the cheek, but Deran hears his mother’s words in his head and shoves him away. It must’ve been harder than he meant because Adrian lands on his ass with a stunned expression. 

“What the fuck, dude?!” Jack shouts. He moves like he’s going to hit Deran, but Adrian stands up and pulls him away. 

“It’s okay, I think he’s drunk.”

Adrian reaches out to hug Deran, because he’s too sweet for his own good. 

Deran pushes him. “Jesus, Adrian! Stop with this shit!” 

“W-what?” 

“No more fucking kisses and hugs goodbye. I’m not twelve, okay?” 

“Oh,” Adrian flinches as if he’s been hit. “Okay.” He steps back like Deran’s some feral cat. His pretty blue eyes are filling with tears and Deran hates it. 

“Sorry,” Deran offers weakly. Adrian shakes his head and smiles through the tears. 

“No, you’re right. I won’t hug or kiss you anymore.” 

All Deran ever does is make Adrian sad. 

“You really need to chill.” Jack shakes his head at Deran. “Night, dude.” 

Jack grabs Adrian’s hand and walks him out of the backyard. Deran wants to chase after them and beg for forgiveness, to tell Adrian how much he loves him. Instead, he smashes Smurf’s glass patio table with a chair. 

Adrian ignores him for a month, and when he finally comes around, he’s not the same. He doesn’t touch Deran at all, not even on the arm which is a bit of a shock. Adrian’s always been weirdly tactile. He doesn’t talk as much, either. There are no enthusiastic stories or cute giggles. Adrian just follows him around like a sad puppy.

Deran knows it’s all his fault. 


	4. Age 16

Deran has never wanted to pummel anyone as badly as he wants to beat up Jack right now. 

“What do you mean, you kissed Jack?”

“I mean we kissed,” Adrian shrugs shyly. “Last night.” 

His brothers are probably nearby, so Deran leads Adrian into his bedroom and shuts the door. 

“Are you gay or something?” 

“Um, duh?” Adrian laughs. “Everyone knows.” 

It’s true, but Deran’s never heard Adrian say it himself. He sits on the bed and crosses his arms over his chest. 

“What, so you’re boyfriends now?” 

Adrian laughs and sits beside him. “No. But we’re sixteen, it’s about time I finally had my first kiss, right?” 

Deran frowns. “You already had your first kiss.” 

“Not really,” Adrian shrugs. “I don’t think kissing you when we were ten counts.” 

“Yes it does,” Deran insists. The thought of Adrian and Jack together makes Deran sick, but at least Deran can say he had Adrian first. Adrian has always been his.

“It really doesn’t,” Adrian giggles, which is the nicest sound Deran has heard in a while. “What, have you not kissed anyone since then?” 

Deran flushes and turns away from him. “I have,” he lies. He’s never wanted to kiss anyone. All he wants is to surf with Adrian. 

“You totally haven’t.” 

“Yes I have,” Deran insists. 

“Have not.” 

“Yes, I have! I make out all the time.” 

“Right,” Adrian snorts. “With who?”

“Girls!” Deran shouts, throwing his hands in the air. His brothers are a lot easier to convince. He tells them about fake hook ups all the time and they believe him. 

“Show me then,” Adrian shrugs. 

“Fuck off.” Deran shoves his shoulder. 

“Come on, show me what moves you use on all the girls.” 

His smile is playful and Deran wants to kiss it off his stupid face, but that’s not anything new. 

“Come on,” Adrian teases. Deran knows he’s just trying to get under his skin. He goes for it anyway. 

“They like when I touch their hair,” Deran says. He’s never done this, but he reaches out to run his fingers through Adrian’s soft locks. He pulls Adrian closer. 

The boy blushes prettily and looks down. “What else?” he asks quietly. 

Deran’s heart skips a beat. Adrian’s lips look so pink and soft. He leans in and presses his mouth against them. 

“Lie ‘em down and touch ‘em,” Deran mumbles. Adrian goes willingly, lying back on the mattress. Deran crawls on top of him and reconnects their lips. 

“Yeah?” Adrian breaths, lips parting beautifully for Deran. Deran licks into his mouth like he owns it. He slides his hand under Adrian’s shirt and feels his smooth skin. 

They make out slowly until Adrian wraps his legs around Deran’s waist. Their bodies press together tightly and Deran’s can feel his dick hardening. He pulls away and clambers off the bed before things go too far. He sits on the floor and hugs his knees to his chest. 

He didn’t make out with his best friend. He didn’t. He’s not gay. Deran glances at Adrian and catches him already staring.

“What?” he asks defensively. 

Adrian shrugs. “Nothing. Can we watch a movie?” 

Deran sets up the DVD player and puts on Iron Man. They watch on Deran’s bed and Adrian cuddles up to his side. It’s the first time he’s done it in months. 

Deran loves it. 


	5. Age 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Deran touches Adrian for the first time.

Deran touches Adrian for the first time when they’re eighteen. They’re smoking a joint on Deran’s bed. 

“My first time having sex is gonna suck,” Adrian blurts. Deran sits up and gives him a weirded out look. 

“What?” 

Adrian sighs and takes a long drag before handing the joint back to Deran. 

“I don’t know, it’s just gonna suck. I can barely last five minutes when I jerk off.” 

“You’re worried about cumming too soon?” Deran laughs. It’s not something he’s ever really thought about. There’s no one he wants to fuck anyway, other than Adrian. 

“Yes!” Adrian shouts. He turns on his side and gives Deran a dazed look. 

“We should practice.” 

Even when he’s stoned, Deran knows that’s a bad idea. “No.” 

“Please?” Adrian pouts. “I need to learn how to give head, anyway. You should let me learn on you.” 

Heat blooms on Deran’s cheeks. He really wants to say yes. “No, don’t be stupid.” 

“It’s not gay,” Adrian insists, as if he can read Deran’s mind. “It’s just friends helping friends.” 

Deran crosses his arms over his chest. “Fine.” 

Adrian cheers and sits up, stripping his shirt off. He awkwardly wiggles out of his jeans and then climbs into Deran’s lap. He smiles proudly and Deran finds the whole thing a lot cuter than he should. 

“You’re comfortable,” Adrian says, shifting forwards to press his chest against Deran’s. He winds his arms around Deran’s neck and smiles coyly. 

“What do you want?” Deran sighs, though he’s itching to get his hands on Adrian and feel his soft skin.

Adrian pouts adorably. “Don’t you want to touch me?” He leans in and nips at Deran’s jaw. “I want you to touch me.” 

The words go straight to Deran’s dick. He never thought sweet, gentle Adrian could be like this. 

Adrian grabs Deran’s left hand and holds it up to his mouth, delicately licking at his fingertips. He holds eye contact as he sucks two of Deran’s fingers into his mouth. Deran feels hot all over. He wonders where Adrian learned this. 

“Want these inside me,” Adrian whispers wetly, guiding Deran’s hand to his bum. Deran timidly grabs it, earning a soft groan from the other boy. 

“I, I have lube,” Deran stutters, turning and reaching into his nightstand drawer with his free hand. He wets his fingers with it carefully before slipping his hand into the back of Adrian’s boxers. 

“Yes,” Adrian hisses, closing his eyes and tilting his head back as Deran’s fingers find his tight little hole. With a nervous breath, Deran pushes a finger in. 

Adrian leans forwards and rests his forehead on Deran’s shoulder. “Mm.” 

“I got you,” Deran whispers, working his finger in and out slowly. He draws a quiet moan out of Adrian and slips another finger in. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” Adrian whines. He moans desperately and rocks back against Deran’s hand. His dick is leaking in his boxers, creating a dark stain on the fabric. 

“Feels good?” Deran asks, nervous. Adrian nods and makes a gorgeous sobbing sound in his ear. 

“So good, Der. So good.” 

Deran makes Adrian cum like that, fingering him slowly while Adrian grinds down onto his thigh. 

“I think you lasted six minutes,” Deran pants. 

“Shut up,” Adrian grumbles, climbing out of Deran’s lap. “Next time you can fuck me and we’ll see just how long you last.”


	6. Age 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian’s senior prom.

Deran picks up Adrian after school in May. Two months left, and Adrian will graduate. Deran dropped out a year ago. 

Adrian climbs into Deran’s scout and buckles up. “Senior prom is in two weeks,” he says, instead of a greeting. 

Deran scowls. He doesn’t like where this is going. “And?” 

“Are you going to come?” Adrian asks. 

“What? No. That shit’s stupid.” 

“All of our friends are going. I’m going. And I don’t have a date.” 

“I’m not even in high school anymore.” Deran pulls out of the parking lot and heads towards his house. 

“So? You can still go. Please?” 

Deran glances at Adrian and sees him pouting and batting his eyelashes. He’s too fucking pretty. 

“No.” 

“Pleeaasse? I want you to. Won’t you be my date?” 

“Fuck that, that’s so gay.” 

“What?” Adrian laughs. “And it wasn’t gay when I sucked you off last night?” 

Deran feels heat rise to his cheeks at the memory. Adrian’s mouth was so soft and wet. 

“Shut up.” 

“Fine,” Adrian mumbles, sitting back and crossing his arms over his chest. He sits like that for the rest of the ride, shooting Deran angry little glares every few minutes. 

Smurf greets them in the kitchen when they get home. 

“Hi, baby. Hi, Adrian.” 

“Hi, Smurf!” Adrian greets her happily. He’s never fully seen her bad side. He doesn’t know how awful she can be. 

“How was school?” Smurf asks. 

“It was good! It would be better if Deran was still showing up.” 

“I know,” she laughs. “I’m just making a casserole, would you boys like some?” 

“Later,” Deran replies gruffly. He doesn’t like when Adrian talks to Smurf this much, it usually means he’s after something. 

“I was just telling Deran about prom. It’s in two weeks.” 

Smurf gives Deran a surprised look. “Are you going, baby?” 

“No.” 

“Sooo many girls will be disappointed,” Adrian says. “I know a girl who really wants Deran as her date.” 

Deran glares. He knows Adrian’s talking about himself. 

“Oh, go, Deran. I’ll take you and Adrian suit shopping. You’ll look so handsome.” 

Deran shakes his head. “Prom is stupid.” 

“I thought so too, baby. But doing something normal like this will be good for you.” 

It seems like Smurf will force him to go, so it’s easier if he just gives in now. It might make Adrian happy, too. 

“Fine, but I’m not wearing a fucking tie or jacket.” 

Adrian cheers and runs over to hug Deran. “Yay!” 

Smurf smiles at them sweetly, grabs a drink off the counter and heads out of the room. Adrian leans in close and whispers hotly in Deran’s ear. 

“I’ll let you fuck me on prom night.”

*****

Deran drives to Adrian’s on prom night and picks him up in the scout. 

“You look so handsome,” Adrian says cheerfully. He climbs into the passenger seat and smiles, dimples and all. 

Deran’s hair is only at his chin, but Smurf made him brush it and pull it back with an elastic. He’s wearing black dress pants and a white shirt with a light pink tie. The tie matches Adrian’s shirt. 

“Thanks,” Deran mumbles, tearing his eyes away from Adrian. The boy looks beautiful, but he always does. Deran should be used to it by now. 

“Did you get the flowers?” Adrian asks. 

Deran sighs and reaches into the backseat, grabbing the little glass box with their boutonnieres inside. Deran thinks it’s dumb, but Adrian wanted them so Deran bought them, anyway.

“People will think we’re dates,” Deran grumbles, shoving the box at Adrian. 

Adrian shrugs and takes the first white rose out. “We are.” 

He pins it to Deran’s shirt pocket and then tilts his face up for a kiss. Deran huffs like he’s annoyed but pecks Adrian on the lips. 

“They don’t need to know that.” 

Adrian ignores him in favour of taking out the second flower. “This one is a corsage.” 

“Shit,” Deran says. “I asked for two of the boy ones. Sorry.” 

“It’s okay, I like it.” Adrian smiles and slips the corsage onto his left hand. “It’s so pretty.” 

Deran wants to tell Adrian that he’s the pretty one, but as usual he keeps his mouth shut. 

“Ready?” Deran asks instead. They’ve been sitting outside of Adrian’s house for a while. He hopes Adrian’s dad hasn’t been watching. His dad can be an asshole. 

They drive to Adrian’s school and find a parking spot near the entrance. 

“Listen,” Deran starts. “Don’t hold my hand or anything in there.” 

Adrian’s happy expression falters for a second. He recovers and gives Deran a forced smile. 

“I know. Wouldn’t want anyone thinking you like me, right?” 

There’s a sad look on Adrian’s face as they walk inside and Deran hates himself for it. This is Adrian’s special night, and he’s ruining it like he always does. 

“Sorry,” he whispers. Adrian brushes his hand against Deran’s and keeps walking. They arrive in the gymnasium and it’s completely transformed for the dance. The walls are covered in white streamers and golden decorations. Each corner has a mass of balloons and there’s a DJ playing gentle music. 

They sit with Adrian’s friends, and for most of the night Deran tunes them out. He wants to leave and go somewhere private where he can kiss Adrian without worrying what people will think. 

“They’re going to start with a slow song,” Adrian informs the table. He gives Deran a hopeful look and Deran knows what he’s hinting at. 

Soon enough, the dj plays When You Look Me in The Eyes by the Jonas Brothers. Deran recognizes it because they’re Adrian’s favourite band. 

“Can we dance?” Adrian whispers, taking Deran’s hand under the table. Deran glances at the dance floor nervously and shakes his head. 

“Everyone will see.” 

“No one cares,” Adrian argues. It doesn’t matter. Deran doesn’t want people to think differently of him if they realize he likes a boy.

“I can’t,” Deran mumbles. He wants to take Adrian’s hand and lead him out to the dance floor. He wants to wrap his arms around Adrian’s waist and sway with him. 

“It’s okay.” Adrian forces a smile and turns to talk to his friend across the table. Deran sighs and sinks further into his seat. He can’t be the perfect prom date that Adrian wants him to be.

Adrian nudges him a few minutes later. He gestures to a group of people dancing. There are two girls holding each other and moving around slowly. 

“Are they lesbians?” Deran asks. Adrian shakes his head. “Nah, they’re best friends.” 

Two of Adrian’s friends, Jack and Colby, stand up and head towards the two girls. They copy them and slow dance together. 

“Won’t people talk about them?” Deran wonders. 

Adrian laughs and shakes his head. “They’re just messing around, everyone thinks it’s funny.” 

Deran gulps. “Oh.” 

Another pair of girls joins them, laughing like it’s the funniest thing they’ve ever done. It gives Deran courage. 

“We can do that.” 

Adrian practically jumps in his seat. His eyes widen and he grabs Deran’s wrist excitedly. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, let’s do it.” 

Adrian hesitates. He’s waiting for Deran to change his mind and say it’s too gay. Deran won’t disappoint him this time. He grabs Adrian’s hand and drags him out to his friends. 

“Come on,” Deran encourages, stopping a few feet short of Jack and Colby. He guides Adrian’s hands to his shoulders and smiles. 

“You’re sure? We don’t have to.” 

Deran grabs Adrian by the waist and pulls him close. “I’m sure.” 

A new slow song starts and Deran leads Adrian, taking small swaying steps. Adrian’s eyes and his cute little nose crinkle as he tucks his face into Deran’s shoulder. 

“This is fun,” he whispers. Deran likes it too. He didn’t know how fun being a teenager can be when his family isn’t around. 

The song’s tempo picks up so Deran grabs Adrian’s right hand and holds it above their heads, spinning him once and then dipping him. The adorable fit of giggles it sends him into makes Deran feel light and happy. He loves the sound of Adrian’s laughter. 

It tells him he’s finally doing something right. 


	7. Age 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Valentine’s Day.

The doorbell rings three times and Deran knows it’s Adrian. They’re twenty now, but Adrian still rings the doorbell the same way he did when he was seven. Deran jogs to the front and lets him in. 

Adrian greets him with a confused pout. 

“Are you my boyfriend?” 

The question takes Deran by surprise, and then he remembers that Craig and Renn are nearby. 

“What? Don’t say gay shit like that. Be quiet.” 

He yanks Adrian inside and kisses him quickly. “Craig and Renn are in the living room, idiot.” 

“You invited me over to fuck even though your brother is home?” 

“Jesus, dude! Shut it!” Deran hisses. Adrian shrugs and heads towards the living room, where Renn and Craig are cuddling. Deran doesn’t like where this is going. 

Craig waves at Adrian. “Hey, man.” 

“Hey,” Adrian waves back. Renn smiles sweetly and stands up to give him a hug. 

“Hi, honey,” she says. Renn has always been nice to Deran, but she has a soft spot for Adrian. Deran doesn’t blame her. The boy is perfect. 

“I gotta piss,” Craig announces. Renn makes a face at him as he exits the room. 

She rolls her eyes. “Boys.” 

Renn has been in and out of Craig’s life for as long as Deran can remember. She’s put up with way worse. 

Adrian sits on the couch opposite of her and Deran follows suit. 

“I know, right?” He says. It feels directed at Deran and he’s not sure what he’s done this time. 

Renn grins. “You have a boyfriend yet?”

“Kinda, but not really,” Adrian shrugs. Deran’s face burns. Adrian is being too obvious. “Doing anything on Tuesday?” 

“Craig says he has something planned for us,” Renn shrugs. “Probably dinner. What about you?” 

Adrian nudges Deran’s shoulder. “We’re gonna do something, right?” 

They hangout most days; Deran isn’t sure what’s so significant about Tuesday. 

“Uh, maybe,” he replies. Smurf might make him pick up rent or do other jobs for her, so he doesn’t want to make any promises. 

“You’re not doing anything special?” Renn asks. She sounds surprised and Deran doesn’t understand why. 

“No? Why would we?” 

“Yeah,” Adrian scoffs. “Why would he do anything special, right? I’m not important.” 

Adrian stands up and crosses his arms over his chest. “You’re such a dick sometimes.” 

Deran makes a face. “What?” 

Usually he’s able to figure out what he did to upset Adrian, but this time he has no clue. Adrian rolls his eyes and storms out of the room. The front door slams shut a few seconds later. Deran winces and looks at Renn, who’s shaking her head in disappointment. 

“What did I do?” He asks weakly. He’s been trying harder to be nicer to Adrian. He thought it was working. 

“You’re so stupid,” Renn sighs. “It’s Valentine’s Day on Tuesday. He wants you to do something for him.” 

Deran’s face gets hot. “What? We’re not—I’m not…” 

Renn rolls her eyes. “Craig’s not here, you don’t have to pretend. I don’t care.” 

Deran clamps his mouth shut. He wants to deny it but she won’t believe him. Renn has always been perceptive. 

“He really likes you, Deran. He’s upset because you’re acting like he’s nothing to you.” 

Deran leans back against the couch and sighs. 

“He’s my best friend,” he tries. Renn laughs. 

“Yeah, I know, but he’s also in love with you.” 

“He’s not,” Deran sputters, and he can only imagine how red is face is getting. 

“Oh, honey. Everyone in town knows how much that boy loves you. Why do you think he puts up with your bullshit?” 

Deran doesn’t answer. Could Adrian really feel that way about him? 

“Bring him flowers or something. Surprise him. It’s easy to make boys like Adrian happy.”  
  


*****

Deran calls Adrian a few times over the next few days but he doesn’t pick up. Deran would show up at his house but he doesn’t want to make things worse. 

He takes Renn’s advice and buys Adrian flowers on Tuesday. He thinks it’s stupid and gay, but things have been good with Adrian lately. He doesn’t want to mess that up. Roses seem too girly so Deran grabs a scraggly bouquet of daisies.

Smurf makes him pick up rent from a few buildings, including Tao’s surf shop. Adrian is working when he arrives. 

Deran walks in with the daisies. “Hey.” 

Adrian is lifting a board onto his workbench, but he still scoffs when he hears Deran’s voice. 

“What do you want?” 

“I need Tao’s rent.” 

Adrian still hasn’t looked at him, but Deran sees him shaking his head with an annoyed look. 

“Of course that’s why you’re here.” 

Deran swallows nervously and looks around. No one else is in the shop. He doesn’t have to worry about being seen. 

“I called you.” 

Adrian sighs and finally looks at him. “I know.” He nods at the flowers. “What are those?” 

Deran feels stupid as he moves closer and holds out the bouquet. 

“They’re, um. For you.” 

The irritated expression on Adrian’s face completely disappears. It’s replaced by a gorgeous blush. 

“Really?” 

He sounds surprised, and maybe a little pleased. Deran loves it. He nods and pushes the flowers into Adrian’s hands. 

“Oh.” He smiles so sweetly it makes Deran feel gooey inside. “Thank you.” 

He leans up and pecks Deran on the lips. “They’re pretty.” 

Not for the first time, Deran wants to tell Adrian how pretty he is. This time he does.

“You are,” he says dumbly. His cheeks get hot and he frowns. “Pretty, I mean. You’re, you know. Nice looking.” 

The blush on Adrian’s face deepens, and he looks down shyly. “Thanks.” 

Deran nods awkwardly and takes a step back. 

“I have to go.” 

Adrian reaches out and grabs Deran’s hand. His deep blue eyes glue Deran in place. 

“Will you come over later? Chad’s at his girlfriend’s place tonight.” 

Deran hears the unsaid _we’ll be all alone_ and nods way too quickly. “Yeah, sure. Okay.” 

Adrian’s answering smile is blinding. “Okay. Cool.” 

Deran heads home feeling good about himself for once, and all he can think about is getting his hands on Adrian later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you guys think of how this story is going?


	8. Age 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adrian’s 21st birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See end notes for trigger warnings. I will update this again once it reaches 130 kudos. Thanks for your support!!

It’s Adrian’s 21st birthday and Deran can’t be there with him. 

He calls at 5pm and Adrian picks up right away. 

“Hi, Der!” He answers, cheerful. Deran doesn’t want to be the guy who ruins his birthday, but he has to. Smurf is calling a family meeting and Deran can’t miss it. She’ll make his life hell for months if he does. 

“Happy birthday.” 

“Thanks! I’m excited for tonight.” 

“That’s actually what I’m calling about,” Deran starts. He tried to say it gently. “I can’t make it.” 

The line is quiet for a few seconds, and Adrian is barely audible when he finally speaks. 

“What?” 

He sounds heartbroken, as if Deran’s presence really matters. He’ll have fun with his other friends, the ones who never disappoint him. 

“I’m sorry,” Deran says. “It’s family stuff, I can’t miss it.” 

“What family stuff? Will it take all night?” 

“I can’t tell you. Smurf’s pissed about something we did the other day. It’s gonna take a few hours to deal with.” 

“But we planned this weeks ago,” Adrian protests. “Can’t you tell Smurf you’re busy?” 

“I can’t. I’m sorry.” 

“Der… please?” He begs softly. “I want you to come. Please?” 

Deran’s brain temporarily short circuits and he remembers Adrian saying those exact words in a very different situation. When he doesn’t reply, Adrian goes on. 

“Please? I’ll be so happy.” His voice is sweet and pleading. It’s always been Deran’s weakness. 

“I can’t,” he insists. His brothers will give him shit if he misses the meeting, and god knows what Smurf would do. 

“That sucks,” Adrian grumbles. “I guess I’ll just go home with Jack.” 

Deran’s heart stops. “Go home with Jack?” He repeats slowly, processing the words. 

“Yeah. I mean, it’s my birthday. You don’t expect me to go home alone, do you?” 

“You can’t,” Deran panics. “I—you’re mine, you can’t.” 

He didn’t mean to say that, but it’s true. Adrian has been Deran’s since they were four. That’s seventeen years, Deran is not going to start sharing now. 

“I’m yours?” Adrian breathes. “I thought… you always say you’re not my boyfriend. I didn’t think you’d care if I sleep with Jack…” 

“I don’t share,” Deran growls. “I’ll fucking kill Jack if he touches you, okay?” 

The thought of Adrian with someone else makes him sick. His stomach churns and an angry pressure builds against his chest. He needs to punch something. Or fuck his boyfriend. 

“I’m coming over,” he decides. “Screw Smurf. I always do everything she wants.” 

“You get so feisty when you’re mad,” Adrian giggles. “I’m so happy you’re coming.” 

“I’ll be there in ten.” 

“I can’t wait,” Adrian gushes, and he sounds so pleased that Deran knows he’s making the right choice. His mom can wait. It’s time to put the love of his life first for once. 

*****

The rest of Adrian’s friends are coming over at 8pm, but for now he and Deran have the place to themselves. Adrian kisses him about five times before he can even get his shoes off.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” 

“Me too,” Deran laughs. He hands Adrian his present and then follows him into the living room. 

“Will your family be mad?” 

They sit close together on the couch and Adrian places the gift bag onto the coffee table. 

“Probably. But I don’t care, I want to be here with you.” 

Adrian’s face goes all sweet and dreamy. He grabs Deran’s hand and holds it in both of his. 

“I always want to be with you,” Adrian admits. A beautiful pink blossoms on his cheeks. It looks so pretty with his freckles and dark eyes; Deran gets lost for a few seconds and forgets to reply. 

“Is that bad?” He asks shyly, drawing his hands away from Deran’s. 

“No!” Deran exclaims. “I like that.” 

Adrian sighs in relief. “Good.” He pauses and shuffles closer to Deran, grabbing his hand again. “Things have felt good between us lately, right?” 

Everything has been perfect for the last month. They see each other a few times a week to fuck or surf or smoke weed. They rarely argue anymore and Deran hasn’t made Adrian cry in a long time. 

“We’re good,” Deran agrees. What they have is easy. 

“So can we tell people?” 

Deran’s stomach flips. “No!”

He knows people will look at him differently. He can’t handle being known as Smurf’s gay son. 

Adrian winces. “Why? Are you ashamed of me?” 

“No, no. I’m just not like you.” 

“Gay? You’re not gay? Jesus Deran, we have sex all the time.” 

“I’m not a fucking fag,” Deran snaps. “I don’t like guys, okay?” 

Hurt flashes across Adrian’s face and Deran hates himself for it.

“I am, okay? I’m a boy and I like you! I’m fucking gay, Deran, and you’re gay too because you’re dating me.” 

Deran shakes his head. “I’m not. I don’t like guys. It’s just you. It’s only ever been you.” 

Adrian’s face crumples like he’s going to cry. “I just want to hold your hand in front of my friends without being scared you’ll freak out.” 

There’s an awful heaviness building in Deran’s chest and he can’t get a full breath in. The floor is going to drop out from beneath him. 

“I want to give you what you want but I can’t.” 

He takes a deep breath and stands up, but he still feels like he’s not getting enough air. 

“I’m a Cody, not a fucking queer.” 

Adrian tugs on the hem of his shirt. “Calm down, man.” 

Deran sits down but the world around him is fuzzy. He buries his face in his hands and tries to breathe, but he can’t. He’s not the man Adrian deserves. He never will be. 

“I can’t—I can’t give you what you need.” 

There’s a gentle hand rubbing Deran’s back. “You’re okay, babe. It’s okay.” 

“You’re gonna leave me for someone better.” 

It takes a few minutes, but things refocus and Deran reaches a hand out, feeling around until he grabs Adrian’s thigh. 

Adrian wraps his arm around Deran’s back and rests his cheek on Deran’s shoulder. “I want you. But I can’t hide like this forever.” 

Deran nods and squeezes his eyes shut. He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to be open about his relationship with Adrian. 

“I’m sorry,” he croaks. Adrian shakes his head and leans in, pressing soft kisses along Deran’s jaw and all over his cheeks. 

“I want to be with you, Deran. You know that.” 

“Yeah.” 

“But I can’t do it like this for the rest of my life,” Adrian explains. “Six months. Okay?” 

Deran frowns. “Six months for what?” 

Adrian wraps both of his arms around Deran and hides his face in his neck. Deran hugs him back tightly. 

“If things aren’t different by then, I might have to give up on us.” 

Deran’s heart sinks. His eyes start to sting again. “Oh.” 

He has six months until he loses Adrian for good.  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings for: a panic attack and a homophobic slur.


	9. Age 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You want me to go with you?” he asks, unsure. He bites his lip nervously and Deran thinks he’s probably the prettiest man alive. 
> 
> “It’ll be fun,” Deran insists. “Let’s go to Belize. The surf’s amazing.”

The way Smurf reacts when Deran comes home the day after Adrian’s birthday is somehow worse than he expected. He walks into the kitchen, prepared for a fight, and instead is met with a disgusted look and an eye roll. 

“Look who finally remembered his family,” Smurf scoffs. She was cutting vegetables but stops to face Deran and crosses her arms over her chest. 

“Just getting back from your night with your boyfriend?” 

Deran’s heart drops. “I don’t have a boyfriend,” he says stiffly. 

Smurf’s stare is sharp. “That’s not how it looks, Deran. It’s awfully suspicious when you spend all of your time with a gay boy, and even abandon your family for him.” 

“I didn’t abandon you,” Deran protests, but it’s hard to get the words out when it feels like his chest is being imploded. 

Smurf shrugs and turns back to the vegetables on her cutting board. She slowly dices a tomato. 

“I’m just telling you, people are going to think things.” 

“I’m not gay,” he croaks weakly. “I’m not.” 

Smurf nods. “Good. Wouldn’t want people thinking we’re weak.” 

Deran doesn’t reply. He doesn’t know what to say. 

She gives him a considering glance. “Maybe you shouldn’t hang around with Adrian anymore.” 

Deran can’t stay away from Adrian. “He’s my best friend.” 

They’re  _ happy  _ for once. He’s going to find a way to be the guy Adrian deserves. 

“Well  _ I’m  _ you’re family,” Smurf hisses. She drops her knife onto the cutting board and spins to glare at him. “You’re  _ nothing  _ without me. You better fucking fix this Deran, before rumours start spreading.” 

Deran shakes his head. “That’s not true.” 

Smurf points at him, finger shaking angrily. “You have  _ nothing _ but this family.”

Deran takes a step back, still shaking his head. He’s taken so much shit from her for so long, but he won’t take this. She’s not going to take Adrian from him. 

“I don’t need you,” Deran spits. “I don’t need this fucking house or your stupid jobs.” 

All she does is treat him like shit and make him do all the grunt work. 

She needs  _ him _ . He would be fine without her, he has Adrian and surfing and that’s all he’s ever needed. He storms passed her and out of the kitchen until he reaches his room. With shaking hands, he finds the first bag he can and stuffs it full of clothes, money, and anything else he might need. Once he’s done he goes out the back door, ignoring when Smurf calls his name. 

He’ll show her just how much he needs her. 

*****

When Adrian opens his front door, it’s obvious he’s surprised to see Deran back so soon. 

He frowns but steps back to let Deran inside. “Der?”

“Let’s go on vacation,” he blurts. He backtracks quickly when Adrian’s face scrunches with confusion. “I need to get out of here for awhile,” he explains. “Away from Smurf.” 

Adrian stares at him. 

“Come with me,” Deran adds, grabbing Adrian’s hand. “My treat.” 

“I can’t just leave,” he laughs, shaking his head. “Tao would kill me.” 

“Tao loves you,” Deran protests. “Just tell him you’ll be back in a few weeks, you’ll be fine.” 

Adrian closes the door behind Deran and leads him to the couch. “Did something happen?” he asks. “Why do you want to leave all of a sudden?”

“I just need space from my family. Smurf’s suffocating me.” It’s only a partial lie, but it’s believable and seems to satisfy Adrian. 

“You want me to go with you?” he asks, unsure. He bites his lip nervously and Deran thinks he’s probably the prettiest man alive. 

“It’ll be fun,” Deran insists. “Let’s go to Belize. The surf’s amazing.” 

Adrian still looks skeptical, so Deran grabs his face and presses a gentle kiss to his lips. When he pulls back, Adrian is blushing. He’s never quite gotten used to Deran being romantic. 

“We’re best friends. There’s no one else I want to get away with.” 

Adrian swallows nervously. He’s quiet for a few moments, pretty eyes still looking unsure, but eventually he nods. 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” Deran grins. 

The way Adrian smiles makes Deran’s knees weak. 

“Yeah, let’s do this. Let’s go.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’re reading this, thanks for sticking around this long.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment and kudos if you want more! 
> 
> Tumblr @adriancody


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